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  3. TREAT JOHN GARLAND WILL
  4. After a 5-7 season with two separate Head Coaches and two periods with no coach, the Kent State Golden Flashes have taken a shot on an unknown commodity, TazerMan. He was born and raised in Australia, later moving to America and attending University at Stanford. He has done much volunteer work to become familiar with the College environment, and after some success and much effort, he worked his way into the College ranks. Kent State know that they are in a tough spot, and they felt that they needed to take a chance on someone who could stay and run the program for years to come. Kent State's most recent recruiting class has been described as one of "Quantity, but without the 4-star [recruits]. They also have the highest amount of recruits 2-star and lower. The Golden Flashes badly need a coach that will stick around for the long haul, because if this class is the meat of their roster in 2-3 years? Yuck." Hopes are low for the coming season as the team adjusts to the new scheme and a poor recruiting class, with very poor depth in certain areas. Coach TazerMan said "I would like to develop this program into a contender in the MAC, and I know that this may take a while, so I would like to stick around here for a long time. I know that many outside of Kent State have faith in me, but I would like to ask the fans if they can keep supporting the team, because in a few years you never know what might happen!"
  5. Wow, just fuck me up
  6. 3rd Down Efficiency 5-17 3-17
  7. Maybe Miami is a home lion and a road lamb...or maybe it was just a step up in competition. Surprised NE is 0-2...
  8. Good game NE. There's only so much heartbreak I can take in one day.
  9. Pretty underwhelming.
  10. Miami Dolphins (1-0) at New England Patriots (0-1)
  11. STUNNED Jaguars demolish Chiefs in a high-flying affair.
  12. Yesterday
  13. Chiefs Get Tricked: Jacksonville's Rookie Star Raheem Robinson Dazzles in Multiple Dimensions
  14. MAN RUINS EVERYTHING WELLS MISSES ANOTHER GAME-WINNING FIELD GOAL VS. TITANS
  15. That's the goal - I enjoy writing it..
  16. I really hope you keep this up all season! One of the top weekly reads this site has seen!
  17. IT'S CURRENT SEASON WERE R PROGRESSIONS N CROOTS PLS

  18. still need headlines from Chiefs, Jags, and Browns.
  19. The Boston Globe Ronald Wrecks Revenge Attempt as Patriots Fall to Chargers
  20. Biggest struggle of my life. FeelsBadMan
  21. Looks like Smackems is right on point for the SF/DEN game. Jennings and Blacknall have much to prove, but I think our D and the Mile High air give us a real chance. Could come down to FG kicking, and I think Sam Sarahi is the man.
  22. Déjà Vu Rams drop second straight OT game to SF
  23. I'd say that's a pretty fair assessment of the PHI @ CAR game. Skaggs is going to score (unless we break him too) so it's going to come down to how much our defense can get in the backfield, limit the damage and how well our offense can control the ball/clock. We're probably going to need a big special teams/defensive play to win this one in Carolina. I like our chances beating this team at the end of the season or playoffs when the weather is cold/shitty than at the beginning of the season when it's warm and sunny. Can't wait, should be a good one.
  24. AND SO IT BEGINS... PICTURED: Kareem Taylor tries to laugh off pick 6 as Arizona's quest for the #1 pick starts off on the right foot with a loss to the Green Bay Packers.
  25. I need another rug upon which to shag women who might ungraciously be called a "grenade". Keyshawn and the Lions will be that rug.
  26. Raheem can catch, throw, and run, is there anything he can not do? Wow – what an opening week to the NFLHC season. We had clutch overtime plays from Nick Hall and Todd Lester to lead their respective teams to victories. Soluna deployed trick plays in a thrashing of the Chiefs, the Chargers shocked everyone, and the Jets showed the league they won’t settle for just appearing in Super Bowls. The committee of Smackems was able to open up the season with a tidy 11-4 record, 12-4 if you include Jumanji’s correct Dolphin prediction. Week 2’s Smackems’ Game of the Week is the Eagles and their stout defense taking on the Panthers and their high-flying offense. This game offers such a stark contrast in styles that it really should be a beauty to watch. Once again, the winner will be bolded in white. On to the picks! Miami Dolphins (1-0) at New England Patriots (0-1) The Patriots are coming off an embarrassing Week 1 loss to the Los Angeles Chargers. Unfortunately for them, their competition can only get tougher from there. Thursday night, they will be taking on the 1-0 Dolphins. Miami will look to repeat last week's dominant performance, as they destroyed the Buffalo Bills by a score of 36-7. Already firing on all cylinders, Brian Brown and company should have the edge. While the Patriots have the potential to pull an upset, there are just too many question marks surrounding their defense after last week's abysmal showing. The Dolphins take this one. courtesy of Jumanji New York Jets (1-0) at Buffalo Bills (0-1) – The Jets opened up the season with a bang by drubbing the Ravens 31-14. The score was never close as Wegert lead the Jets to a 31-0 lead before Baltimore added points in garbage time. Buffalo traveled to Miami and was not able to get pressure with their star-studded defensive line in a 36-7 loss to the Dolphins. I think the Jets are the best team in the division, I think week one’s decimation of a really good Baltimore defense shows that to be true in the early going. Buffalo has a shot if their defensive line can put pressure on Wegert and force him to make mistakes, I think they will get pressure but I do not think it will be enough. I think the Jets take this one in Buffalo. Cleveland Browns (0-1) at New Orleans Saints (0-1) The Browns opened up the season with a chance to beat Tennessee on a last-second FG that sailed wide left. The Saints on the other hand were never in it as Christian Skaggs tore apart their questionable secondary 48-21 in Charlotte. The game is an interesting one to choose, I think looking at it quickly I would go New Orleans, however; if I look a little more closely at Cleveland’s roster I think they have enough pieces to exploit the weaknesses in the Saints secondary. I think Tai, Marconi, and Mitchell provide just enough firepower to give Cleveland a puncher’s chance of scoring with New Orleans – I think Sean Jenkins comes back this week with a monster game, but I am picking Cleveland in the upset. Cincinnati Bengals (1-0) at Baltimore Ravens (0-1) The Bengals were able to travel to Atlanta and get the upset in week 1, but it did not come the way anyone expected it to come. The defense, highly considered the weakest part of the Bengals, was able to bend but not break and hold Atlanta to only 13 points. King did not have a spectacular opener with all his new toys, only having 209 yards and 2 picks to go along with his 2 TDs. The Bengals have a lot of balance, but I believe that Baltimore’s defense is one of the better units in the league, and they will be looking to bounce back from an awful performance in week 1. I think King is going to struggle, and I think the Ravens should be able to put enough points on the board to win their home opener. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-0) at Pittsburgh Steelers (1-0) The most talked about game from week 1 has to be the Jaguars drubbing of the Chiefs, where Raheem Robinson, and all his trick play glory, rushed and passed for a Touchdown to go with his 4 catches. The Steelers got a nice victory over Tampa, where Davenport had a super-efficient game through the air completing ~78% of his passes. I love the intrigue this game brings, Davenport has been on fire ever since panther gave him the reins last season, he adds a dynamic level to the Steelers offense, but Soluna is putting together a team in Jacksonville that’s going to be so difficult to plan against every week. He has trick plays in the bag now, and he’s going to be able to pull It out when teams aren’t expecting it especially with Josh McDaniels as his OC. I think Pittsburgh is moving in the right direction, but I think Jacksonville is moving there more quickly Indianapolis Colts (0-1) at Green Bay Packers (1-0) The Packers had a nice opening week win over Arizona and inspiral has to be excited about the play of both the defense and the offensive line. However, this week they face a significantly tougher challenge in the Colts, who lost an OT heartbreaker to the Raiders. I think the Colts are considered by many to be one of the favorites to potentially represent the AFC in the Super Bowl, especially if they can get their running game going. Peaks didn’t have a great game last week, but Heard was able to break off a big run for a touchdown to alleviate some of the pressure off of Aaron Shea. I still really like the Colts and I think they will go into Green Bay and get the victory here. The Packers are on an upswing, but I don’t think they are ready to take down championship caliber teams yet. Los Angeles Chargers (1-0) at Tennessee Titans (1-0) The Chargers opened up the season with a surprising win over the Patriots while the Titans were able to hold on with a victory over Cleveland. The Chargers used a really strong 4th quarter from Will Thompson to get the upset, I think Thompson helps the Chargers win now but I think they are still at a talent disadvantage. I also think Tennessee is a better team than last year’s record indicates with strong contributors at key positions on offense and young talent on defense. I like the Woods and Jones combo on the line – I think it’s too much for the Chargers to overcome… *Philadelphia Eagles (1-0) at Carolina Panthers (1-0) It was a toss-up between this game and the 9ers/Broncos game for the Smackems’ Game of the Week, but I went with this one. The Eagles struggled on offense in week 1, but their defense, specifically their secondary gave the Redskins fits all game forcing Fields to throw 3 interceptions. In fact, the only touchdown scored by the Skins came on a kickoff return for a TD in the 3rd quarter. It’s no secret that the Panthers decimated the Saints secondary, Skaggs was able to toss a neat 6 TDs in their week 1 victory. The Panthers will be able to score, that should be a given, so I think the key to this game is going to be how the Eagles offense responds? I think the Eagles end the season with their offense clicking, but I think the Panthers take this game. Their offense is already firing on all-cylinders and their defense played pretty well against a potent Saints offense. Atlanta Falcons (0-1) at Chicago Bears (0-1) Both of these teams struggled to put points in the board in their week 1 losses. Chicago can point directly at their abysmal running effort as the main culprit in their shutout, Honeycutt was only able to muster 14 yards on 11 carries and that’s just not going to get it done. Atlanta seemed to be able to move the ball against Cincinnati but would too often settle for FG attempts as they got into Bengal territory. I think Atlanta looked like they were a little closer to figuring it out during the 1st week, they were able to move the ball, they had good rushing numbers, I will take them in a road win. Houston Texans (1-0) at Detroit Lions (1-0) Detroit was able to pummel the helpless Vikings in a game where Rob LeCount had little issue getting the ball out to his receivers. One potentially concerning takeaway from their week 1 victory is that James Otero was never able to get going and barely broke 2 YPC on 17 carries, that’s not going to get it done long term. The Texans came out of the gate and made a defensive statement as I discussed in the Chicago preview, they held Honeycutt to around 1 YPC and were able to snag 2 Brooksheer passes as well. Leshoure had a nice game, but the question is how will he do when one of the best CBs in the league is blanketing his best target? The Houston rushing attack didn’t perform well enough to give me confidence that Houston can steal this one, I’m going Detroit here. Oakland Raiders (1-0) at Kansas City Chiefs (0-1) Nick Hall and the Raiders had a clutch performance in their victory over the Colts. Hall looked as good as always and rookie defensive end Shah Vereen came in right away and got a sack in his first action. As good, as Oakland was last year they really struggled to get after the quarterback, so if Vereen is able to consistently get pressure on the QB watch out. By now, everyone knows that Kansas City lost to trick-plays, but I think there’s some deeper issues here. Rodgers had an okay game, but how much of that was because of the defensive game plan? They had issues stopping the run and pass – I think they’ll get it figured out eventually but trying to get it turned around against one of the best teams in the league is not ideal. I’m taking Oakland. Dallas Cowboys (1-0) at Washington Redskins (0-1) Dallas looked great in their opening victory over the Giants; Vaughan Abraham thrashed the Giant defense for over 120 yards and ~6 YPC. The Skins really struggled on offense, and as of today it’s uncertain how healthy Javier Fields will be going into this game, if he plays at all. Both defenses played well in their opening games, but with the uncertainty surrounding Fields’ status for the game I am going to take Dallas to open up the season 2-0. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-1) at Minnesota Vikings (0-1) I’m struggling to find any positives for the Vikings after their week 1 loss. Their running game looked bad, Vardell had an inefficient game through the air, and their defense and special teams were outclassed by the Lions. Tampa at least is able to hold their hat on Heiden and Richard Wilson’s performance against Pittsburgh, both were able to play well in an otherwise fairly lopsided affair. I’m taking Tampa in this one – they have more talent. Seattle Seahawks (0-1) at Arizona Cardinals (0-1) Even though Seattle lost the opener to Denver, Coach Tuscan has to be proud of the way the defense played in that game. They held the Broncos to 15 points and did a good job of making life difficult for new QB Todd Jennings and RB J.B. Blacknall. There is a lot of talent on this offense, so I have no doubt that they will get that side of the ball figured out. Arizona really struggled to find any traction in their loss at Green Bay, they were inefficient in the running game and that made it difficult for Kareem to find any rhythm in the passing game. Based on the way Seattle looked in week 1 I think they make strides on the offensive side of the ball and take the victory. New York Giants (0-1) at Los Angeles Rams (0-1) The Rams took the defending Super Bowl champs to overtime, they have to be pleased with the effort that their team was able to put forth in that game. They roll with backup Jeremy Henry for one more week; Henry had a pretty solid outing in week 1, but threw a costly pick that allowed San Fran to kick a game tying FG. The Giants have been trying to figure out their offense since the beginning of the preseason and still haven’t hit on a game plan that allows them to effectively score points. I think the Rams win this one and get to 1-1 with starter Darrell Murphy coming back next week. San Francisco 49ers (1-0) at Denver Broncos (1-0) This is another potentially great primetime game to match our awesome slate of primetime games from week 1. By now it’s no secret that I really love the Broncos, I think by the end of the year they are going to be in the discussion as one of the best teams in the league. Their defense is rock solid and I am betting that Bingo figures out the best way to utilize both his new QB and RB. They held one of the best WRs Gary Faneca to a total of 33 yards on 3 catches, and Charles Johnson exploded with 3 sacks. The 49ers played a great game in their opener against the Rams, the offense looked in mid-season form and the defense played opportunistic football that led them to an overtime victory. I like Lester’s ability to move around in this game, it should really help him when the Broncos send a blitz and give his bevy of speedsters a chance to get open. In an early season game, I’m definitely favoring San Francisco. Week 1 record – 11-4 Overall record – 11-4 Jumanji’s Week 1 record – 1-0 Jumanji’s Overall record – 1-0
  27. A statement from Redskins coach nephewjack: While we certainly have faith in Javier going forward as our quarterback, we're not going to take any risks with our players' health. At the same time, it's a little early to rule him out for the entire year, and on the advice of team doctors he'll sit until we have a better handle on the full situation. We'll be waiting for an update on his condition, and in the meantime, we have complete confidence in Yancey's ability to step up under center and make this season a successful one, regardless of how long Javier's injury may keep him out.
  28. Dudes, don't forget a RP response...
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