A Hallmark Channel Exclusive
Dakota lay awake, sweating something furious. She was beside herself, and couldn’t do anything to stop her living nightmare. Gone was her knight in shining armor, Calvin Koehler, and gone was his trusty steed, Ole Dodson the Stallion, both forever banished. In just a matter of months, her life had collapsed, as the Royal Rabbit Resistance had itself fallen to the barren Bizon Balkanization, with no true leader to guide it. Now, against her will, it seemed she was betrothed to be queen of the putrid Bizon.
She wanted no part, but where would the poor Dakota Fanning find someone to save her? The Bizon, in fact, had only strengthened their army, despite losing great warriors like Stevie Henderson and Shamarcus Pierce. The Bizon planned to hold an exhibition displaying their proud toughness in the era of 2023, and they’d invited a group of noble and Nobel scholars to be their first victim of the new Bizon reign. Dakota wanted out of the hell that is Fargo. She longed for greener pastures, better tourism, and of a land with larger corn yield in the year 2016 (not too large though, more specifically, 5.45% of total U.S. Corn Production in said year). So from her observation point, Dakota watched the Bizon’s daily workout routines, formulating their plans in their run up to the Crimson. In her sole possession, a wrapping of parchment papers, she began to make prediction of the battle that lay ahead.
As Dakota sketched out the twisted fate she saw before her, she began to weep, burying her face into her writings and sobbing. The Bizon simply would slaughter the Crimson, turning the dust, well, crimson. Her animal friends, seeing her crying, came to her side to offer comfort. Custer the Cottontail motioned for Pierre the Prairie Dog to come closer, and the two devised a plan. Pierre scurried out onto the prairie, chirping loudly enough to attract the attention of Aberdeen Antelope. Aberdeen took to the hills, signalling to Eagle Butte Eagle. Eagle Butte Eagle soared across the grasslands below, finally catching up to Wall Drug Wolf. It was here that Wall Drug Wolf finally quit beating the dead horse, a local tradition meant to bring life back to where it once was, and Wall Drug Wolf's actions had harnessed the powers of nature, and like a phoenix out of ashes, it was here in Brookings that the Royal Rabbit Resistance emerged from the earth once more. Though a weakened version of its past prestigious state, the Royal Rabbit Resistance breathed new life. Harnessed from the west, the great commander llamas had been drawn in to lead the RRR, he himself of Bison blood, and as everyone knows per previous Hallmark Channel Exclusive Original Yuletide in Yellowstone, the only way to beat a bison, is to be a bison. And from the east, replacing the great night Calvin Koehler, was the best Naval Cadet in all the land, Isaiah Best. Wall Drug Wolf howled to Eagle Butte Eagle, who soared back to Aberdeen Antelope, who
Hallmark Channel would like to apologize for running an advertisement over the last half minute of episode
at which point Custer Cottontail told Dakota of the return of the RRR. Excited, Dakota quickly made note, though she knew the Rabbits weren't of the same nature they had been when slain before. In order to fully return to power, though, the RRR must face off with their most recent enemy, a nemesis in Newark.
(Yale doesn't have a coach yet and North Dakota is probably about to lose their's since their coach didn't post a Pre-Transfers DC and also hasn't posted a post-Transfers DC, despite checking in on the site pretty regularly. Why, UND, why. You could be a part of this magical Hallmark experience.)
(Northern Iowa doesn't really relate to the story line at all, but perhaps they shall in the near future and they're currently in the same scheduling pod as the Dakota schools, so I guess they'll get a breakdown as well.)
Will the RRR make enough major strides to fully show that they're back? Will the Bizon be unexpectedly routed, rendering the initial premise of this Hallmark Original series useless? Tune in next week to find out!