VerifiedThing

Got these on the first try. God. Damnit. (Michigan lost to both of these schools in the National Championship during that year)

The Northern schools need to step the fuck up

Washington set the CBB record for most rolled 0's and still won

FCS playoffs will always be superior fite me

*Doubling Roll*

PG Markael Ray 6-5 239 (So) P.L. Julian (Chicago IL) SG Isaiah Rhodes 6-2 221 (So) Northridge (Johnstown OH) [**] SF Keylon Pierce 6-5 256 Jr Chatfield (Chatfield MN) [*] PF Quavean Weaver 6-7 266 (Jr) Notre Dame (Quincy IL) [Aggressive] C Jeffery Mack 6-6 257 (Sr) East Peoria Community (IL) [*] I use Weavers Aggressive attribute to cancel out Beasley's Leadership attribute (I hope I did this correctly)

PG Markael Ray 6-5 239 (So) P.L. Julian (Chicago IL) SG Isaiah Rhodes 6-2 221 (So) Northridge (Johnstown OH) [**] SF Keylon Pierce 6-5 256 Jr Chatfield (Chatfield MN) [*] PF Quavean Weaver 6-7 266 (Jr) Notre Dame (Quincy IL) [Aggressive] C Jeffery Mack 6-6 257 (Sr) East Peoria Community (IL) [*]

PG Markael Ray 6-5 239 (So) P.L. Julian (Chicago IL) SG Isaiah Rhodes 6-2 221 (So) Northridge (Johnstown OH) [**] SF Keylon Pierce 6-5 256 Jr Chatfield (Chatfield MN) [*] PF Quavean Weaver 6-7 266 (Jr) Notre Dame (Quincy IL) [Aggressive] C Jeffery Mack 6-6 257 (Sr) East Peoria Community (IL) [*]

PG Markael Ray 6-5 239 (So) P.L. Julian (Chicago IL) SG Jalal Webster 6-3 231 (Jr) Salem (Salem IN) [Tenacity] SF Shawn Watson 6-5 244 Sr Sterling (Sterling IL) [*] PF Quavean Weaver 6-7 266 (Jr) Notre Dame (Quincy IL) [Aggressive] C Jeffery Mack 6-6 257 (Sr) East Peoria Community (IL) [*] *Doubling roll* @Jieret

PG Markael Ray 6-5 239 (So) P.L. Julian (Chicago IL) SG Jalal Webster 6-3 231 (Jr) Salem (Salem IN) [Tenacity] SF Shawn Watson 6-5 244 Sr Sterling (Sterling IL) [*] PF Quavean Weaver 6-7 266 (Jr) Notre Dame (Quincy IL) [Aggressive] C Jeffery Mack 6-6 257 (Sr) East Peoria Community (IL) [*]

I WANT TO PLAY

THE PONY EXPRESS CHOO CHOOS ALONG! NEXT STOP, #1

What is your confidence level like after the big win you got last week?

Merry Crootsmas to you! About last week: No game, bye week, but we did see 6 commits for the Redbirds this week. Some guys are probably day 1 starters, some will need time to develop, but all look promising. And Coach VerifiedThing has promised that the best is yet to come. We'll hopefully see what he means in the next couple weeks. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THE ROAD AHEAD NEW HAMPSHIRE (2-5) Last Week: Beat Florida A&M 30-14 RECAP: Now this is what I expected from New Hampshire. For a second there I thought FAMU would somehow win this game and make a late playoff push, but the Wildcats took care of business and are now back on track. Other than Yale, the schedule doesn't get any easier, so getting out of the 9-12 seed range is looking less and less likely for UNH. But, they didn't get totally eliminated, and so they continue to fight for their season. This team is as frightening as: The common cold. The stuffy nose sucks, but in the modern age, a cold ain't gonna kill you, unless your immune system is completely shot. I think the Redbirds' immune system is a-ok, though. Fear Level: 3 Just take some medicine and eat some soup, and the cold will go away ISU should worry about: T-T-T-T-T-TRAP GAME!!!!! With Harvard and JMU on the horizon, and with New Hampshire being 2-5, this is a clear trap game that can trip up this team right before the meat of their remaining schedule. UNH is not like Montana and Yale, you can't breeze by them. You have to play a solid game or else the Cats can sneak up on you and ruin everything you've worked for. ISU can sleep soundly about: With their 2nd win this season, the Cats have managed to win more games than they did all of last year. So, historically speaking, they have never played spoiler in any of their games. When they play ISU: Saturday Afternoon Next week: @ Illinois State (that's us!) [AFTER THE JUMP: A surprise shake-up that has left many shocked and confused] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HARVARD (4-3) Last Week: Beat Delaware 28-16 RECAP: As it turns out, the Crimson are very good at the football. Granted, Delaware has just not looked the same since getting some national attention, but the Crimson came to play on Saturday and it led to a surprising upset victory. Cameron Whaley was good, of course, but the real star for Harvard is Lucas Beckwith. He threw for 245 yards and 3 touchdowns as the Blue Hen pass defense had no answer for Harvard's passing attack. The Crimson defense also held Eric Jenkins in check and forced Delaware to kick 3 field goals on drives that were otherwise doing well. All of a sudden, the Crimson are back in the discussion of being a top 4 seed. With their only 3 losses coming at the hands of the Dakotas (all 3 of them), it looks like the Crimson are poised to win their division. This team is as frightening as: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Will ISU be lucky and get the classy Dr. Jekyll who knows their place and won't try to ruin a good thing OR will they get Mr. Hyde, who is a brutal murderer that even Jack the Ripper was afraid of. At this point, we just don't know, and it's the not knowing that is the most frightening. Fear Level: Either 5 or 9. This will either be fine or completely terrible. ISU should worry about: Lucas Beckwith becoming a good QB. In the past the best way to stop this Harvard offense was to stop Whaley, and once you had accomplished that the rest was easy. These past few games, however, Beckwith has proven to be a dangerous passer that will make defenses respect his talent level. Even in a loss to South Dakota State the passing game was quite successful. ISU can sleep soundly about: The Dakota games have already left a blueprint on how to beat this team: stop Whaley. In all 3 losses, Whaley rushed for at most 76 yards. In every win, he eclipsed 100 yards. I know in the previous section I said it takes more than just stopping Whaley to stop Harvard, but that is actually wrong and I apologize for leading you on. ISU has by far the best run defense in the FCS (and possibly all of college football) so keeping Whaley under wraps should be doable. When they play ISU: Probably a morning game, which means we should get the Doctor and not the Murderer. Next week: Bye (of course) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- JAMES MADISON (4-3) Last Week: Beat Yale 24-21 RECAP: Something is wrong with the defending National Runner-ups. A win over Montana was expected, and a win over Yale was guaranteed, but the way they beat Yale is seriously concerning. In fact, had Yale made both of their field goals, we'd be talking about Yale getting their first victory over the team that finished with over 10 wins last season. Yale's offense was held to under 200 yards total, and yet they were right in this until a missed 55-yarder as time expired left the Dukes victorious. Looking at just the statsheet, it's hard to find an issue that stands out other than the 3-point victory. This is a game that JMU should have won handily, yet Yale was close to sending this to OT, and was just as close as winning the game outright. With Youngstown State coming up, they'll need to fix something in order to continue their quest of getting a 5-8 seed. This team is as frightening as: A team with all the pieces still trying to find out where they all connect. Fear Level: 6.5 Let's hope they get bored and forget about the puzzle for several months before stumbling across it one day and throwing it in the trash ISU should worry about: The Dukes have a respectable offense with no superstar players, but with no bad players either. They're perfectly balanced across the board, and that makes them dangerous. Any one of them can step up and have a big day. ISU can sleep soundly about: Yale was somehow able to score 3 touchdowns in the second half despite not being able to move the ball at all in the first half. This Duke defense has some leaks in it that Wardwell should be able to exploit for gains. When they play ISU: It takes a while to put a puzzle together, especially if you have a low attention span. Next week: vs. Youngstown State ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- FLORIDA A&M (2-5) Last Week: Lost @ New Hampshire 30-14 RECAP: Gavin Orr is bad at football. This team is as frightening as: The only team that made Montana look somewhat decent. Fear Level: 1.5 ISU should worry about: Gavin Orr being bit by a spider or falling into nuclear waste or finding out he's actually an alien from Krypton. ISU can sleep soundly about: There already is an alien from Krypton on Earth, and his name is Devon Wardwell. Superman is in the building! When they play ISU: *yawn* Next week: vs. Delaware ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DELAWARE (4-3) Last Week: Lost @ Harvard 28-16 RECAP: As I was writing this piece, the Blue Hens announced the firing of their scapegoat Offensive Coordinator Drew Weisler. Whether this leads to a positive change or not is yet to be determined, but Weisler was always on the hot seat once Coach OSU came in, as they both had differing opinions on how to best run the offense. Weisler had to find out the hard way that the Head Coach has the final say at the end of the day. The fans seemed to be pleased, for now, as the stink from this game will continue to linger if improvements aren't made. This team is as frightening as: Barack Holmes has been stopped only by the people on his side; with those barriers seemingly gone, Barack Holmes will rise again. Fear Level: 7 He looks....angrier ISU should worry about: With OSU seemingly running the offense now, expect Barack Holmes to get 35 carries a game and 150+ yards with 3 TDs. That's my conservative guess. ISU can sleep soundly about: Eric Jenkins is a very up-and-down QB, and with ISU's run defense being one of the best, he'll need to step up to get the offense going. I don't see it happening, but QBs have had success before against this pass defense. It'll be all up to Jenkins to show up. When they play ISU: We'll have a better understanding of what this offense will look like post-Weisler. Next week: @ Florida A&M ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- YOUNGSTOWN STATE (4-2) Last Week: Bye RECAP: No game, bye. This team is as frightening as: When there's a bit of ice on the road. It's not enough to be "dangerous" but you do have to be careful driving over bridges. Fear Level: 6. Just don't be stupid and pay attention and you'll be fine. ISU should worry about: Youngstown is on a 4 game winning streak and have looked good doing it. Getting Booker T. to coach was a Godsend for this program, and they are clicking on all cylinders right now. ISU can sleep soundly about: Their last 4 opponents have been, in order, Montana, Eastern Washington, Portland, and Florida A&M. Two of those teams are winless, one of those should be winless but they are just barely better than the two winless teams, and then there's Sammy Connor and whoever else is playing at EWU these days. When they play ISU: A season finale you don't want to miss. Next week: @ James Madison ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OBJECTS IN THE REARVIEW MONTANA (0-20) Last Week: They lost. (Achievement Unlocked: 20 game sadness) RECAP: Better luck next week! Next week: vs. Portland in the TOILET BOWL 2K23! It's a big fucking deal ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- UC DAVIS (4-2) Last Week: Bye RECAP: No game, bye. Next week: vs. North Dakota ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- EASTERN WASHINGTON (3-4) Last Week: Beat North Dakota 28-13 RECAP: I'm honestly surprised at how well EWU's defense did in this one. Shawn Crawley was held in check, and the Fighting Sioux Hawks were unable to stop Sammy Connor. Connor put up video game stats once again, going 33/48 for 340 yards and 4 touchdowns with 0 interceptions. The Eagles seemed to have turned a corner and are now a threat to make a late season run if their defense continues to play like they did this past Saturday. As Kanye West would say, "Don't let me get in my zone." Pictured: 4 Sammy Connors Next week: @ North Dakota State ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- PORTLAND STATE (0-6) Last Week: Bye RECAP: No game, bye Next week: Toilet Bowl, see above. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TULSA (2-5) Last Week: Lost vs SMU 38-14 RECAP: Ugh. Next week: Bye ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- YALE (0-7) Last Week: Lost vs James Madison 24-21 Recap: I still don't understand how Yale was so close to forcing overtime in this one. They were outgained by almost 100 yards and the turnover ratio was 1/1. Neither team had any special teams craziness, other than Yale's 2 missed field goals. It just doesn't add up. I don't even think people watching the game understood why it was so close. There's really nothing more to say other than Yale is probably not going to the playoffs, but there is a small chance they can steal a game before the end of the year, with FAMU looking like the most likely victim. Next week: Bye

Why couldn't Delaware wait till after, oh, I don't know, Week 14 to fire their seemingly incompetent OC?