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    Rome

    [UFHC] Event 1 Results, Event 2 Discussion

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    Changing the percentages:

     

    >50% is a tap

    75%+ is a KO

    Ties that need to be broken will be "Judge Decision"

     

    Results of UFHC 1

     

    Cricket defeats Gigemags

     

    GRV defeats Tprochnow

     

    Tazerman defeats Tuscansota

     

    Smckenz submits Jamarquan

     

    Time submits Monark

     

     

    UFHC 2 Card

     

    Featherweight Semi-Final

    HaffNHaff (0-0-0) vs Believer (0-0-0)

     

    Lightweight Quarter-Final

    CadeRich (0-0-0) vs TheLiberator (0-0-0)

     

    Middleweight Quarter-Final

    Hagan (0-0-0) vs Alexfall (0-0-0)

     

    Middleweight Quarter-Final

    pumph (0-0-0) vs johnkirk (0-0-0)

     

    Light Heavyweight Opening Round

    Rome (0-0-0) vs Emperor (0-0-0)

     

    MAIN EVENT - Heavyweight Exhibition

    Bingo (0-0-0) vs Paperllamas (0-0-0)

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    WOOOOO MAIN EVENT.

     

    Bingo is going down.

     

    How can I say so with such certainty? Is it the arthritis in my wrists and knees talking? Is it the near-certain CTE my brain is ruined by after years of playing in the trenches in football? Or perhaps the nagging ankle I sprained, dislocated, and possibly did worse to that  i have to wear a brace for if I do anything athletic?

     

    No. It is none of these. It's the facts of morality.

     

    While I don't know of physical limitations I may have against my opponent, Bingo has never publicly stated that he doesn't engage in the practices of puppy and kitten killing. He also is the coach of Oregon, and hasn't publicly announced where Chip's other shoe is, or when it will fall. Furthermore, I'm sure he's failed to properly punctuate a sentence before, which can be drastic, changing "let's eat, Grandma", into a far more evil "let's eat Grandma."

     

    Simply addressing these issues now, after they've been made public, would only be backtracking for my opponent.

     

    Should a potential puppy killing, knowledgeable about projectile foot attire, Grandma-eating fighter be awarded with a win this UFCHC 2 bout? 

     

    No. Which is why I will be the hero we all need, settling this public outcry, and beating Bingo's ass.

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