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    mahrowkeen

    UTSA Roadrunners Finally Formally Announce Head Coach Hiring

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    SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS - UTSA AD Lisa Campos opened today's press conference by apologizing to the fanbase for the long delay in announcing a decision that had long been made. Campos admitted that there was concern over exactly how to pronounce their new head coach's name, which was embarrassing considering the hispanic culture the campus is surrounded by. "We couldn't figure out if we needed to roll the 'R', you just never know," Campos admitted. Once that was out of the way, Campos introduced Coach mahrowkeen as the program's new Head Football Coach. From not too far down the road in Katy, Texas just outside of Houston, UTSA liked that their new coach would be familiar with recruiting landscape in the state. Despite the fact that they had no clue what they would get from him considering he had no prior experience recruiting or coaching. mahrowkeen was given an opportunity to address the fanbase.

     

    "I just want to start by thanking Dr. Campos for the opportunity. I am in the process of completing my Sports Management Degree online, and I have years of gameplan and recruiting experience through Madden and the, RIP, NCAA Franchise. Maybe they saw potential there," mahrowkeen shrugged, as surprised to be there as the media. "I also want to thank Coach LamboThrone for the work he put into this program. I have something great to work with between the current roster and the incoming class of croots. I've got big shoes to fill following a former Coach of the Year."

     

    Puzzled looks still covered the media member's faces. After a few moments of awkward silence and shrugs and everyone in the room looking to someone for a way forward, AD Campos stepped in, "Coach mahrowkeen will take any questions you guys have..."

     

     

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    Minnesota? Wow, all the way down here. Thank you, and great question Mr. Bongo. I loved you in Inside Out by the way. I mean, you actually made a radio flyer fly. You really saved the day... Recruiting, yes, nothing is more important. Like I said, the previous coach left me with a great product to start with. I intend to build on that. I hear games are won in the trenches? Maybe we’ll take a look there. Special teams are a strong point here that maybe we can make a tradition. As far as dealing with Texas, I’ve got my work cut out for me. I intend on exhausting my resources until I can compete with the Rice’s and TCU’s of the world. For now, we’ll focus on bringing in players that will make an impact in all facets of the game. 

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    4 hours ago, mahrowkeen said:

    Minnesota? Wow, all the way down here. Thank you, and great question Mr. Bongo. I loved you in Inside Out by the way. I mean, you actually made a radio flyer fly. You really saved the day... Recruiting, yes, nothing is more important. Like I said, the previous coach left me with a great product to start with. I intend to build on that. I hear games are won in the trenches? Maybe we’ll take a look there. Special teams are a strong point here that maybe we can make a tradition. As far as dealing with Texas, I’ve got my work cut out for me. I intend on exhausting my resources until I can compete with the Rice’s and TCU’s of the world. For now, we’ll focus on bringing in players that will make an impact in all facets of the game. 

     

    alexfall862 from the Orlando Sentinel:

     

    "Does UTSA have a recruiting travel budget, or will you carpool with other schools in the area?"

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    5 minutes ago, alexfall862 said:

     

    alexfall862 from the Orlando Sentinel:

     

    "Does UTSA have a recruiting travel budget, or will you carpool with other schools in the area?"

     

    Thanks for coming out from Orlando, and for your question. I believe we do, and... *AD shakes head no*. I may contact Texas State about potentially tagging along on visits. At least, maybe having them pick me up if they're passing through San Antonio. I'm willing to drive out to neighboring campuses and pay for half of a rental? Or I'll drive my own car, I'm sure I can get mileage reimbursement. *AD shrugs*

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